A Mother’s Unwavering Love: At 45, She Unexpectedly Became Pregnant and Defied Pressure to Give Birth to Her Second Child
Editor’s Note: This article is dedicated to Mother’s Day. The author is a 47-year-old mother whose eldest son is already 20 years old. Two years ago, after unexpectedly becoming pregnant with a second child, she firmly chose to give birth despite her husband’s threats of divorce, opposition from family members, and the risks associated with advanced maternal age. How did she maintain such a moving and unwavering maternal love? What gave her the strength to stand against worldly pressures?
I. I Planned to Become a Nun, but Unexpectedly Became Pregnant
“If you insist on keeping this baby, then let’s get divorced! The older child stays with me, and you can raise the second child by yourself!”
My husband nearly shouted those words at me.
“Please,” I replied through tears, “the baby is perfectly healthy. Please give this child a chance to be born and live.”
That evening, after dinner, we once again argued fiercely about whether I should keep or abort this unexpected pregnancy. My husband presented every possible reason why we should not have a second child. Whether through persuasion or pressure, his goal was the same: he was determined that I terminate the pregnancy.
At that point, the “uninvited guest” in my womb was exactly three months old.
I call the baby an “uninvited guest” because I had already made up my mind to become a nun.
One day in 2017, I attended a Dharma listening session at a Buddhist center and respectfully listened to the Dharma discourses of H.H. Dorje Chang Buddha III. That gathering opened a completely new chapter in my life.
I subsequently took refuge in the Three Jewels. Through continuously listening to the Buddha’s Dharma discourses and studying Buddhist teachings, I gradually understood the true direction of my life and became determined to cultivate diligently. Eventually, I developed the aspiration to renounce worldly life and even completed an application to enter monastic life.
A few days after submitting the application, on December 8, 2018, I suddenly felt weak and nauseated. When I went to the hospital for an examination, the doctor informed me that I was pregnant.
It was completely unexpected.
Shock, confusion, struggle, disappointment—my emotions surged all at once. I had no idea what to do.
Had I not been studying Buddhism, I might have simply chosen abortion as many women do when they do not want a child. But as a Buddhist disciple, I had come to understand the law of cause and effect and the preciousness of obtaining a human birth.
How could I harm my own child and deprive a soul of the opportunity to be reborn as a human being?
Most importantly, I had already resolved to become a nun. Yet now this “uninvited guest” had arrived. Surely I could not enter monastic life while carrying a child.
Would I spend the rest of my life occupied with the responsibilities of family life?
Soon I came to accept the situation. This was karmic affinity—something beyond my control. I decided to follow the natural course of events.
While silently reciting the holy name of Namo Avalokitesvara Bodhisattva, I underwent an ultrasound examination. The baby was healthy and developing normally.
The doctor said, “At your age, becoming pregnant is not easy. I’ll prescribe medication to help stabilize the pregnancy. If you don’t intend to keep the baby, you should schedule the procedure soon. You’re already nearly two months pregnant.”
His words only strengthened my determination to give birth.
II. “I Will Protect This Child with My Life”
Both my husband and I had health issues. It had not been easy raising our first son, who was already in high school. My husband had long opposed the idea of having another child, so I initially concealed the pregnancy from him.
However, he soon found out.
Our household erupted into turmoil.
Whether during meals, before bed, or through messages on WeChat, he constantly urged me to undergo an abortion. We argued repeatedly. He even accused me of being selfish.
I felt helpless and dreaded going home. I tried to avoid seeing him whenever possible.
The only place where I found peace was at the Buddhist center, listening to the Dharma discourses of H.H. Dorje Chang Buddha III and reciting the holy name of Namo Avalokitesvara Bodhisattva. Whenever I bowed before the Buddha or looked upon the image of Avalokitesvara Bodhisattva, I would burst into tears uncontrollably.
My husband then organized a family gathering and invited my siblings to persuade me to abandon the pregnancy.
Everyone expressed their opinions. Alone, I found myself debating against the entire family.
Then my husband delivered what he believed was the ultimate threat:
“If you insist on giving birth, then you’re on your own. We’ll get divorced. I’ll only take responsibility for our older child.”
Without hesitation, I replied:
“I will take full responsibility for whatever happens. Even if I become a beggar, I will raise this child. If anyone tries to take this child away, I will protect him or her with my life.”
I cried and ran outside.
In late December 2018, my husband placed a divorce agreement and our marriage certificate in front of me and demanded that I sign.
I faced the most difficult decision of my life:
Should I choose my child or my marriage?
Should I raise an infant alone, or maintain our family of three and continue our comfortable life together?
I did not sign the agreement.
Instead, I wrote a will.
As an older expectant mother, I knew there were risks associated with childbirth. I carefully arranged my affairs and entrusted a Dharma sister with the responsibility of raising the child if something happened to me. I hoped she would one day bring the child to pay respects to the Buddha. If that became impossible, I requested that a temple care for the child.
By continuously listening to the Buddha’s Dharma teachings, I gained a deeper understanding of karma and causality. I firmly believed that if I sincerely practiced according to Buddhist principles, the future would not be as bleak as I feared.
Kneeling before the Buddha altar, I made a solemn vow:
No matter how difficult the future became, I would not abort this child. Even if my own life were at risk, I would give birth. I prayed for the blessings of the Buddhas and Bodhisattvas to protect both myself and my child.
III. Upholding Buddhist Principles Brings the Best Outcome
Life is often full of unexpected turns.
On New Year’s Day 2019, my son returned home from school and accidentally discovered the unsigned divorce agreement on my bedside table.
Without hesitation, he tore it up.
Before returning to school, he secretly wrote a letter to his father and slipped it into his coat pocket.
When I later read the letter, I broke down in tears.
My son recalled how hard our family had worked to raise him, how loving his parents once were, and how much his mother had sacrificed. He even included a cherished family photograph.
After reading the letter, my husband’s attitude gradually softened.
When an ultrasound later confirmed that the baby was a healthy girl, the entire family rejoiced. My husband’s family had always hoped for a daughter.
From that moment onward, everyone’s attitude changed dramatically. Instead of opposition, they began showing genuine care and support.
Throughout the pregnancy, I continued attending Dharma study sessions, participating in Buddhist activities, and praying to Namo Avalokitesvara Bodhisattva. I also engaged in acts of merit such as life release, offering lamps, making offerings to the Buddha and Sangha, and reciting the Universal Gate Chapter of the Lotus Sutra.
Although I was considered an older expectant mother, my pregnancy progressed remarkably well.
On July 4, 2020, while lying on the operating table, I focused wholeheartedly on reciting the holy name of Namo Avalokitesvara Bodhisattva.
The cesarean section proceeded smoothly and without complications.
A healthy baby girl weighing 6.8 pounds was born.
Family and friends waiting outside the operating room were overjoyed.
My first cesarean section had been extremely difficult, with serious complications for both mother and child. Yet this time, I was able to get out of bed and walk the very next day.
When I returned to work after maternity leave, my colleagues remarked that I looked unchanged despite having given birth and joked that I had gained the perfect blessing—a son and a daughter.
I proudly replied:
“Of course it’s different when one has the blessings of the Buddhas and Bodhisattvas.”
And that is exactly how it felt.
Today, my daughter is nearly two years old.
Time and again, circumstances have unfolded in the best possible way. Relatives unexpectedly appeared when childcare help was needed. Teachers made special accommodations for her. She became beloved by classmates and teachers alike.
Everything seemed to fall naturally into place.
Only a few days after her birth, my husband was recommended for a local leadership development position. Friends congratulated him on receiving two blessings at once.
The storms that once threatened our family have long since passed.
Our family of four now enjoys a harmonious and happy life together.
Through this experience, I came to understand the true meaning of perseverance.
A mother’s willingness to protect her child, no matter the hardship or sacrifice, is perseverance.
A Buddhist disciple’s commitment to cherish all life and uphold the principle of “Refrain from all evil and practice all good” despite difficulties and humiliation is also perseverance.
People often ask me what gave me the strength to remain steadfast.
I can only say that beyond the power of maternal love, there was also the power of Buddha Dharma.
As Mother’s Day approaches, I hope that all parents may find the courage to uphold what is right and allow those karmically connected children who come into this world the precious opportunity of human life.
As long as we uphold wholesome causes and conditions, no obstacle is impossible to overcome.
Written by: Ye Mingzhu
Edited by: Lamp Before the Buddha (Fo Qian Deng)
Learn more about H.H. Dorje Chang Buddha III
Link: https://dharma-hhdorjechangbuddhaiii.org/how-h-h-dorje-chang-buddha-iiis-teachings-inspired-a-mothers-unwavering-love/
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